#NYCSoccerWarz: The May-July Campaign

NYCSoccerWarz

by DAN DICKINSON and DAVE MARTINEZ
#NYCSoccerWarz Historians

Our dearest Martha, we are sorry.

We have let down our faithful brothers of the NYC soccer scene. As Red beat Blue, as Green beat Blue, and as Blue imported new soldiers from overseas, the #NYCSoccerWarz have raged. Yet it has been three months since we last wrote to you.

Today, we end our silence about the actions on the battlefield. Let’s catch you up, through May, through June, and through July.

Let’s go.

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  • storms

    this is the Dane Cook comedy special of soccer coverage – too long and not funny

  • It’s back!

    Love the piece! Thanks Dave.

  • Anthony

    #3 was pretty obvious.

  • Larry’s Left Arm Is a Simpleton

    Yes, but my team has the biggest crowds AND biggest Jackasses in the stands!

    That must count for SOMETHING!

    • Anonymous

      and the biggest body count

    • Larry’s A Simpleton

      i bet you dream about the day the f.cosmos becoming relavant. it aint ever happening dim wit

  • David Carlin, Farm Animal Molester

    Your team Is a steaming pile of **** simpleton . That’s all that counts.

  • Larry’s A Simpleton

    how do the f.cosmos even get into this thing? the brooklyn eye-talians have more cred that that farce out there in nassau county. ho hum. another day, another day closer to the f.cosmos folding.

    • Larry is Cretin

      Another day, more people killed by Sheik Mansour’s oppressive regime.

      Meanwhile, I lie in bed while thinking of Poku and listening to “Baby Got Back.”

  • slowleftarm

    Where’s our points for getting our owner the most amount of free advertising? Man, Red Bull is great. Nothing like starting your day off with the taste of baby aspirin.

    • slowleftarm

      What a sad impostor. At least say something witty.

    • Luis

      lmao you sure got that fizzy drink fan tight