#NYCSoccerWarz: The May-July Campaign



Sometimes a war takes twists and turns that one does not expect.

After a strong start to the MLS campaign, the New York Red Bulls have begun to flounder. Four goals through five matches have highlighted the team’s scoring struggles — a string of results that earned New York all of one victory in five encounters.

A caveat to this narrative of disaster? An important victory was gained against their cross river rivals, NYCFC.

  • Revolution 2-1 Red Bulls at Gillette: -1 points
  • Red Bulls 2-1 NYCFC at Red Bull Arena: +5 points. Clearly the result of the month. Playing a man down, RBNY still managed to take victory over their “noisy neighbors.”
  • 0-0 draw at FC Dallas: +2 points
  • Union 2-0 Red Bulls at Red Bull Arena: -3 points
  • Sounders 2-1 Red Bulls at Seattle: -1 points

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  • storms

    this is the Dane Cook comedy special of soccer coverage – too long and not funny

  • It’s back!

    Love the piece! Thanks Dave.

  • Anthony

    #3 was pretty obvious.

  • Larry’s Left Arm Is a Simpleton

    Yes, but my team has the biggest crowds AND biggest Jackasses in the stands!

    That must count for SOMETHING!

    • Anonymous

      and the biggest body count

    • Larry’s A Simpleton

      i bet you dream about the day the f.cosmos becoming relavant. it aint ever happening dim wit

  • David Carlin, Farm Animal Molester

    Your team Is a steaming pile of **** simpleton . That’s all that counts.

  • Larry’s A Simpleton

    how do the f.cosmos even get into this thing? the brooklyn eye-talians have more cred that that farce out there in nassau county. ho hum. another day, another day closer to the f.cosmos folding.

    • Larry is Cretin

      Another day, more people killed by Sheik Mansour’s oppressive regime.

      Meanwhile, I lie in bed while thinking of Poku and listening to “Baby Got Back.”

  • slowleftarm

    Where’s our points for getting our owner the most amount of free advertising? Man, Red Bull is great. Nothing like starting your day off with the taste of baby aspirin.

    • slowleftarm

      What a sad impostor. At least say something witty.

    • Luis

      lmao you sure got that fizzy drink fan tight