#NYCSoccerWarz: The May-July Campaign

NYCSoccerWarz

JUNE WINNERS: TIE, COSMOS/RED BULLS

IMAGE, MATT KREMKAU FOR EMPIRE OF SOCCER

IMAGE, MATT KREMKAU FOR EMPIRE OF SOCCER

A draw! The Cosmos nearly had it to themselves this month: a successful bit of “soccer diplomacy”, a Spring Title, and a shootout win in the Open Cup over NYCFC saw them gain a good number of points in a slow month.

The Red Bulls still suffered bad losses at Houston and Vancouver, but thanks to double points in derbies and a monumental road win at Yankee Stadium, find themselves level for the month with their green brethren.

NYCFC snapped their streak and wouldn’t find themselves far behind, earning impressive wins at Philly and Toronto, as well as at home against Montreal. But the month was snatched away from them after suffering two derby losses.

TABLE AFTER FIVE MONTHS:

Cosmos: 48 points
Red Bulls: 35 points
NYCFC: 9 points

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  • storms

    this is the Dane Cook comedy special of soccer coverage – too long and not funny

  • It’s back!

    Love the piece! Thanks Dave.

  • Anthony

    #3 was pretty obvious.

  • Larry’s Left Arm Is a Simpleton

    Yes, but my team has the biggest crowds AND biggest Jackasses in the stands!

    That must count for SOMETHING!

    • Anonymous

      and the biggest body count

    • Larry’s A Simpleton

      i bet you dream about the day the f.cosmos becoming relavant. it aint ever happening dim wit

  • David Carlin, Farm Animal Molester

    Your team Is a steaming pile of **** simpleton . That’s all that counts.

  • Larry’s A Simpleton

    how do the f.cosmos even get into this thing? the brooklyn eye-talians have more cred that that farce out there in nassau county. ho hum. another day, another day closer to the f.cosmos folding.

    • Larry is Cretin

      Another day, more people killed by Sheik Mansour’s oppressive regime.

      Meanwhile, I lie in bed while thinking of Poku and listening to “Baby Got Back.”

  • slowleftarm

    Where’s our points for getting our owner the most amount of free advertising? Man, Red Bull is great. Nothing like starting your day off with the taste of baby aspirin.

    • slowleftarm

      What a sad impostor. At least say something witty.

    • Luis

      lmao you sure got that fizzy drink fan tight