BY RBNY OPTIMIST
Staff Writer

Throughout the course of a typical Red Bulls season, there are certain themes that will surely shroud their every move.

Topical probabilities abound like countless Tribbles on The Starship Enterprise. Can the Red Bulls improve on last season? How many sellouts will we see? Will Petke succeed? And will Henry’s turf-phobia return for another year?

With a hat tip to sitcom writer/blogger extraordinaire, Ken Levine, here is the official Over/Under betting sheet for the 2013 New York Red Bulls season.

Feel free to make your bets in the comments section below!

THE OVER/UNDER

… on the number of games into the season that someone will start a “Petke Out” campaign – 7.

I’m actually tempted to make this a much lower number given the relentless negativity we usually experience from some of our fans, but this is Petke we are talking about here. Maybe he’ll be given a slightly longer honeymoon period. Please?

… on the number of games that Thierry Henry plays on turf this year – 1.

Get ready for the annual hand wringing over TH14′s skipping of turf fields. We should be used to this by now, and I don’t expect it will change. Does it make me happy? No, but as an Optimist, I file this under “Things I can’t control,” and move on. I set this one at 1, since I think he’ll probably play in the season opener at Jeld-Wen and there’s a very slim chance that we would see a playoff game on one (New England? Like I said — slim.)

… on the number of articles on the Soccer America site by Paul Gardner that bemoan the Red Bull/Metro history of being too Euro-centric – 4.

Gardner could well be my favorite “Grumpy Gus” across all soccer-related media. His capacity to write columns that sound like they’re being dictated by the old guy in the movie “Up” is limitless.

… on the number of sellouts at Red Bull Arena this season – 4.

This is just, as they say, a WAG (no, not “Wives and Girlfriends”; more like “Wild Ass Guess.”). Here’s the Optimist’s take: It doesn’t matter. Yes, I want bigger crowds at all our home matches. Yes, I want to see the Red Bulls attendance numbers near the top of the league’s list. Yes, fan support is crucial and the team should spend more time and dollars marketing itself, but this obsession with sellouts is another favorite talking point of the “nattering nabobs of negativism” (look it up). I have much more to say on this topic, but hey, it’s a long season and I’ve got a lot of blog posts to write.

… on the number of points that the Red Bulls will finish the season with – 62.

I think that taking Rafa Marquez off the team, adding Juninho, and having Petke as a coach adds 5 points to last season’s total of 57. You may disagree, but hey – I am The Optimist after all!